Is your child a bully?

Recent Topics Forums Preschool, School and Teens Is your child a bully?

This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  AdvAnnelie 1 year, 10 months ago.

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  • #140

    ScottD
    Participant

    We often come across stories where kids are being bullied, but very few where kids admit to bullying other kids. Whether in the playground, or on a Facebook page. Surely there are parents out there who know their kids are bullies? How do you deal with your bullying child?

    #153

    Maryka
    Participant

    Hi Scott

    As a mom who’s 8 year old daughter have been bullied recently I am looking in to workshops working with both the bully and recipient (I don’t like the word victim). Teenworx has programs helping both kids. I am awaiting their response.

    I feel personally that schools should have an anti bully policy as well as a anti-bully intervention program and should provide support to both the kids. Not many parents are prepared to admit that their children are bullies and I also had to learn that schools prefer too sweep it under the rug in saying they have  talked to both kids. Parents are rarely informed.

    Studies show that boys who bully have a 60% chance of getting a criminal record before the age of 24. Socially we grew up thinking this is a part of life that passes. 70% of kids don’t even bother too admit because they see nothing happens and fear that the same thing will happen to them.

    10 October 2012 Amanda Todd a Canadian student committed suicide after being bullied past the extent of what she was able to bear. She was 16 years old, in February 2012, David Hlongwane a 16 year old boy hanged himself after being bullied and beaten at school. Pretoria North student.

    In an article I found online Dr Watson (Crystal) stated that there were 40 bully related suicides last year in SA from primary and high school students.

    There are programs out there to help you. Child line offers support as well and could help you find a program.

    But the fact is that as long as schools keep silent and don’t have a policy in place saying this is not ok, parents will keep on thinking this is a part of life. They are contributing and in the end condoning this matter. Schools are in the best position to help rectify this issue.

    I am pro getting both kids help to ensure that the bullying child does not get labelled. Kids do label each other and that should not happen, please get your child in a program because in the end All kids are mean and that will impact the likelihood that your kid will change his behavior.

    Hope I helped.

     

    #156

    ScottD
    Participant

    Hi Maryka, I agree with you. Too often kids are left with no support when the schools refuse to intervene, and, if bullying is reported and not resolved, it then makes life even harder for the victim. I know governing bodies are able to overule principals if the bullying ever gets to that point that there’s a hearing, but kids don’t understand their rights. Many parents just respondd with something like “ag, just punch back”, which isn’t helpful.

    Just yesterday, I saw that a friend (a nurse) mentioned on Twitter that a 7-year-old had been admitted with a broken leg. The girl’s school had refused to deal with the group of bullies properly. That’s terrifying! Thanks for your tips.

    #173

    AdvAnnelie
    Participant

    Hi all,

    I specialize in learner-on-learner bullying.  Based on evidence of an anthropological study conducted in 2009, children absorb their surroundings, whether positive or negative.  Sadly, many children who bully, are victims of some sort of bullying at home, either from a parent or older sibling.  This does not make bullying right at all, but parents underestimate the effect their words and actions have on their children.  Something that is seemingly insignificant can resonate with a child for a lifetime.  I know a man in his mid 40′s who was severely bullied at the age of 9 by an educator and this had such a detrimental effect on his psyche that he has now turned into a bully, bullying people around him as well as his elderly parents.

    My business associate and I are bringing to life an initiative which focuses on mediation in schools.  In so doing, objectivity is ensured as well as keeping the focus on the best interest of the child (bully, victim and bystander) which is also in accordance with section 28(2) of the Constitution and sections 7 and 9 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005.

    I will be interviewed on RSG on the 16th/20th of November @ 19:30 to talk about bullying.  For further information, feel free to contact me.

     

    Kind regards,

    Adv Annelie Laas

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