Possessive grandparents

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  babymama 1 year, 5 months ago.

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  • #1976

    ClearEyesFullHearts
    Participant

    I would like to know if we as parents can be forced to leave our 1yr old little girl with the grandparents? We are not ready to just leave her there just for the sake of leaving her there.

    When she’s older, I am sure we will let her visit all the grandparents but is it too much to ask for them to respect our wishes and wait until we’re ready? There is so much pressure all the time! Also, every time we go there, I have to hand her over to my MIL and I can’t come near her again until we leave. MIL insists on feeding her (doesn’t ever ask, just assumes). When she cries, MIL walks around with her and won’t hand her to me, even though my LG only wants me when she’s upset. Can’t say how many times I’ve tried to take her and then MIL just turns and walks away. Is this normal behaviour? It just feels too frantic and possessive – I know they just love her a lot, but it is just too much for me. It is so relaxing when we go to my mom – even my husband prefers goign there than his own mother. Are we wrong? Not sure if this is the right place to ask… just desperate as we don’t even want to visit them any more and I am worried my LG is going to start picking up on this.

     

    #1978

    rwtpl
    Participant

    Might seem a bit harsh but here we go.

    You are the parent and you must take control.  If it makes you feel uncomfortable then you should make yourself heard and make yourself clear on the situation with your Parents in Law.  Over possessiveness can turn in to control to the point where your little girl might not want to listen to you or do what you ask at a later stage in her life.  This makes being a parent very hard at home if there are other influences that undermine you.  Yes it will happen that your parents or even parents in law will step over the line.  But it depends on the next thing you do.

    We had the same problem but we had to learn the hard way.  It might seem fine to many people but in the long run it can have implications.  But be kind and diplomatic when you bring up the topic but also be firm in what you will and will not allow even in their house.  It was tough as nails for us but we just reached a point where we said enough is enough and we put our foot down so to speak.

    Hope it makes sense

    Regards

    Richard

    #2027

    babymama
    Participant

    my mom is extremely possessive of my son,if he has the slightest sneeze,she will send him to the nearest emergency room!very frustrating…

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