Uncertain Father about 1 year old daughter

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Janalke 1 year, 5 months ago.

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  • #2099

    B345t5
    Participant

    I may sound stupid, but please keep in mind I’m a first time parent.

    My daughter is 1 year old and there are a few things I’m noticing. Just want to find out if it is normal, if I should act on it or what…

    1. My daughter doesn’t like to speak, she says “nana” and sometimes “dada”, mostly she gives happy screams. Slamming her and and trying to jump happy screams, which is cute, but its with everything she does, whether she is crawling, playing, seeing someone, she gives this little cute scream thingy… ??

    2. She takes a long to to learn some things. and others she learns very fast… She learned how to sit quite easy, but it took us almost 3 months to basically force her and teach her how to crawl. Then on her own learned how to stand properly as well as walk while holding on to something, but she has been crawling and standing now for almost 4 months and we can’t get her to walk… AT ALL… she really doesn’t want to… At the beginning she liked us holding her hands and making her walk a bit, now she puts up a scene… I refuse walking rings and things, but anything else I might try…??

    3. The thing that bothers me the most is that she is very attached to her mother. When she was an infant, she was diagnosed with IBS, it runs in the family. She puked a lot and got bad stomach cramps etc. This caused my wife and I to comfort her a lot. Now that she is a bit older, she only wants to be with her mother, I can pick her up from time to time, but when her mother is not in the room, she starts crying like i’m hitting her or something, and then starts to scramble out of my arms sometimes to go look for my wife… I try spending time with her but I have a full time job and long distance to travel home every day. Any idea when or how this will get better??

    4. Lastly, She doesn’t eat purety, or baby food what so ever. She still wants milk and only what ever we eat at the table. She ate purety for 2 months and now hates it. Any suggestions, things we should avoid giving her, things we should try? I bought her glasses with plastic (Toddler hard teets) to get her off the bottle, good idea, bad idea??

    Sorry for all the rookie questions, but sure someone will have the right answers who has been through this before. Feels like I’m sometimes failing as a father when she acts these ways.

    #2107

    Grimmy
    Participant

    You must spend some time and research what a kind should be capable of at what age. Its all normal.

    1)  “nana” and “dada” is basicly the extend of what a one year old is capable of. It will grow rapidly as the child approaches 2 years.

    2) Each child is different. Some start walking at 9 months and others again only at 1 year+. The worst you can do is force the child. Walking for the first time is a scary thing for a child and you should not push it. If she is standing and holding on to something. Go sit close by her and encourage her to walk towards and catch her. Make it a game that both of you can enjoy.

    3) Like dogs kids can smell fear ;) If you’re tense you will make the child uncomfortable. Be less demanding, just enjoy her and love her to bits. Give her lots of attention while your wife is holding her and she will start warming up to you.

    4)Babies digestive systems needs to learn how to process foods so puking is not a big deal. Just make sure she does not dehydrate. Her milk has everything she needs so you don’t have to worry. Give her her milk and let her snack on solid foods. Look in the baby food section of any supermarket, there are loads of snack food for babies/toddlers.

    But seriously each month a child will reach a new step of the learning process. Read up on what you can expect of a child at each stage. It will make it less scary and easier to spot when there is a real problem.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Grimmy.
    #2109

    etyzack
    Participant

    Hi

    My daughter is now 17 months old…and almost a mirror image of what you have just described! I am a first time parent as well, and trust me, I have empathy with your confusion! I can relate…

    the scream thingy….check

    the being very mommy-attached…check

    not wanting to eat anyghing other then 2 minute noodles (but she used to eat every thing a few months ago)…check

    she only started walking at 16 months…

    and she also speak basic words. although when you say a word..she knows what you are talking about.

    I have no advise…just want to say “dont feel alone ”

    PS…i think all of this could be more or less normal

    #2113

    firefox10
    Participant

    My Eldest Daughter walk at 10 Months and was talking before her first tooth came through.

    My Eldest also walked at 10 Months but had teeth before she would talk.

    She’ll grow up and make you a very proud Dad, how she gets there makes little difference.

     

     

    #2114

    Janalke
    Participant

    Dude, you are being way too hard on yourself and on your daughter. I am also a first time parent, my son is 11 months old, and I’ve learned that each child has to develop at his/her own rate.

    1.  Nanna and dadda are perfectly fine for her age. She’s discovered her voice, so screaming is also fine. Next month she’ll move onto something else and won’t stop doing the new thing until she is used to it.

    2. My son has been standing up against things and crawling for a good 5 months. Remember that children are already individuals. They have likes and dislikes and are developing their own personalities. Let her be. She will walk and learn new things at her own pace and on her own time. Forcing her won’t help the situation much.

    3. You think, as a guy it bothers you when your daughter is attached to your wife. Imagine how I feel! My son only wants my husband. And this after I bath him, dress him, feed him, get up when he cries in the middle of the night, etc. I do everything for them! They spend the most time with their mothers. It’s a phase. If she wants to be with mommy, let her. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If my son wants to go to my husband, I let him. Yes, sometimes I do get left out, but then I get over it and move on.

    4. Newsflash – most kids don’t like Purity. My son has been eating fresh fruit and veggies ever since he was 5 months old (porridge when he was 4 months old) Fresh is best. He also enjoys his pasta, rice, mash and chicken. There are so many things you can give your daughter. So many new tastes she can explore. Give her yoghurt, Marie Biscuits or Boudoirs. Flings, Nestle’s mild cheese puffs (9 months+) and Nestle has the most awesome little snacks for kids! Fruit juice and cows milk are awesome too. I read an article that said that kids from 1 year up should drink at least 500ml of fresh milk every day. There’s nothing that your daughter can’t eat now. Give her something new every day.
    Please, please, please, don’t stick to Purity. Most of them tastes horrible anyway.
    Great meal ideas – what I call super veggies (carrots, mielies, green beans, spinach and pumpkin. All diced up in the food processor), 2 min noodles, macaroni with a little butter (his school gives it to him with tuna and mayo, but he doesn’t like it very much), Nestle Porridge, normal mieliepap or oats, mash with a meat sauce (or with carrots or beans), scrambled egg with bread, soup, gemsquash and butternut, chicken chopped up in really small pieces, any fruit diced up in the food processor. The possibilities are endless!! Find out what she likes.
    Drinking bottle is also perfectly normal. It’s recommended that babies drink their bottle until 24 months. They will wean themselves off of it eventually. My son loves his bottle first thing in the morning and when he goes to sleep. But he doesn’t drink much during the day, and that’s fine. Don’t force her to stop drinking milk. When she gets to 2 and a half, then try to get her to stop. For now – let her keep her bottle.

    Most of all – enjoy her. Let her develop on her own. Love her, feed her, change her diaper regularly, bath her every day and give her the attention she needs.
    Parenting shouldn’t be stressing you out! Relax, chill and breathe!

    #2116

    etyzack
    Participant

    Aww tx Janalke, you are even making me feel better! Tx! Some days it is really hard, and its good to know as a parent you are doing things right

    #2117

    Janalke
    Participant

    etyzack – My opinion is that there is no right and wrong. We each do our best, and I think that’s all anyone can do. Unfortunately kids don’t come with manuals, and what might work for me might not work for someone else.

    I’m glad that I made you feel better :)

     

    P.S: I’m no expert, so take whatever I say with a teaspoon of sugar. I knew absolutely nothing about kids (not even liking them) 11 months ago. I never babysat, I never read any books, I just play it by ear. and I think that helps! ;)

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